A German Camp Invaded Our House

A couple of nights ago as Sean and I were getting ready to go to bed there was a really bad storm in effect.  Outside of the house directly across the street there was a German camp that had set up a big green army tent for the night to camp in.  The wind was howling, and whipping around everything in it's path.  It was making the trees moan and sway back and forth. Sean and I were watching out the windows of our bedroom, talking about how crazy it was when all of a sudden there was a huge gust that blew the German camp's tent completely up out of the ground and carried it away.

The people that were camping were looking around in complete despair, and were attempting to quickly grab any belongings that the wind hadn't taken away from them.  There was one particular man who seemed to be calling out orders/ directing people what to do.  He seemed to be the leader of the group.  He was looking around at all of the houses in the area and then we saw his gaze rest on ours.  His arm raised as he waved and shouted for all of the people in the camp to cross the street to go to our house. 

The masses of people followed him as he marched directly up to the french doors leading into our bedroom.  He opened up the doors, which I guess we'd forgotten to lock, informed us that the wind had blown away the camps tent and that they would be making camp in our house for the night!  The campers started to pile in, spreading out everywhere and made themselves at home.  They laid out sleeping bags, pillows, and what blankets they had over every surface of our house.  They were on the floors, on tables, in closets, and some even decided to make themselves comfortable in our bed!  Sean and I stood there completely shocked and in disbelief at what was taking place.  I looked at the people who snuggling up underneath my blankets and I could feel the blood start to boil under my skin.  I thought that Sean was going to say something in protest but when I looked around for him, because of the crowds of campers still coming in, he had disappeared from my site.

I started to argue with the leader who was standing next to me, as he had stepped aside out the the line of people being herded in through the doors.  I tried to tell him that they couldn't just come barging into our house without being invited.  He however didn't back down and obviously had no care at all how rude, arrogant and presumptuous he was being!  I finally realized I was going to get nowhere with this man and decided that I would make the most out if until the storm calmed down and these people could leave our house. 

I looked around and saw that there were many who were wet, cold and shivering from being soaked by the rain outside.  I was filled with compassion and decided that the least I could do was find our spare blankets and try to help a few people be more comfortable.  I headed out of our bedroom and went into the chapel. (Did I mention that we are living in a 5,000 sq. ft renovated Baptist church right now?  More on that to come later!) I went to a linen closet and pulled out several big thick blankets. 

As I was heading back to our bedroom to give the blankets to the people who were in need, a set of wet slobbery teeth latched onto one of my arms and caused me to drop everything I was carrying on the floor.  I looked down and saw that I had been caught by the HUGEST black mastiff I've ever seen!  This dog was seriously so big he came up to my waist when I was standing!  He was thick and strong and wreaked of dirt sweat, and flesh.  I had no desire to mess with him!  Needless to say I was scared and was standing there "quaking in my boots" so to speak.  I had to get out of this dogs clutches.  I had a feeling that he would have no problem gnawing on human bones.   I ever so slightly started to take a step backwards and gently tried to pull my arm out his massively strong jaws but as I did so I could feel him clamp down only harder.  I could feel his teeth start to pierce my skin and it hurt like heck.  I looked around trying to see if there was anyone who could help give me relief from this hellhound. 

As I was looking around a man started to walk over who I could only assume was this dogs owner.  The man was in his mid-40's, and had shoulder length dirty blonde stringy hair.  His skin was golden but leathery looking and he was completely unshaven.  He was wearing a red, white and gray parka.  He had a surfer dude meets Northwest look about him. When he approached me he immediately put a smile on his face. The outer corners of his mouth turned upward and when it did the wrinkles on his face became more pronounced.  They were definitely "smile" wrinkles, deep lines in his face around his mouth from being turned upward, around the corner of his eyes and across his forehead from where his face had lightened up when he smiled. This man had a warmth that radiated from he and you could tell he lived a full, happy and satisfying life.  I wondered then in my mind, if this man was so nice how could he the owner of a demon dog like this!

The man apologized genuinely to me for the behavior of his dog and when he did so, he gently touched the muzzle of the dog and instantly he released his powerful hold on my arm.  Not wanting to get on the bad side of this man if he had one, I kept my comments of his dog to myself and halfheartedly said it was ok and not to worry about it.  I then turned around and completely forgetting about the blankets, I quickly exited the chapel and started walking down the long hallway of our old churh-house.  As I was walking down the hallway, I realized that our church-house wasn't old anymore.  Somehow, as I was walking everything around me transformed and I was now in a brand newly built building that was still our house, but was also where the local daycare was held.  After walking down the hallway I arrived at the entrance where the front door was and decided to go outside to check on the weather to see if the storm was easing up at all. 

I went outside and the sky was now pitch black.  The sound of lightening rumbled all around me and the heavens poured with large droplets of water.  I could feel their weight on my shoulders as I stood their looking upward.  I turned around disheartened that the end of the storm seemed nowhere in sight and as I approached to doors to my house they electronically slide apart opening for my entrance.  Immediately as I entered I saw sitting in the entry on a bench was the Relief Society President of our branch.  I told her how crazy this all was that so many people were in our house and how put out I was.  I was frustrated beyond belief! 

Morning seemed to be approaching and I knew that in a few hours I would need to leave the house with the boys to run some very important errands.  I had no idea what these errands were, but I knew they were extremely important and that they greatly effected my family.  I told the Relief Society President that I was going to go take a shower and headed back down the long hallway to the master bathroom. 

When I got to the door of the master bath I entered into it and realized that people were hanging out in my bathroom like it was the local ladies room at a dance club.  I told all the people to get out that I had to take a shower.  As I did so Sean Connery walked out of my bedroom in a navy blue terrycloth bathrobe holding a shaving bag.  He looked at me.  I looked at him.  Then I rather rudely stated, "I expect your wanting to take a shower too?" He told me that, "Yes," he did want to take a shower. Being the gentleman that Sean Connery always is though he told me that I could take my shower first and he could wait until after I was done.  I stood their feeling:

1.Shocked that Sean Connery was at my house and he was part of a German Camp. 

2.Like the worlds biggest witch for being so rude to him. And,

3.Still upset that there were all these people in my house!

I turned around and started to prepare to get ready for the shower when a lady tried to start entering the bathroom from our closet-laundry room.  See in our house at the back our our master bedroom there is an entrance to our closet, which is also where whoever renovated our house decided a good place for the washer and dryer would be. Next to the washer and dryer there is a door that goes into the master bathroom and that is where the lady was trying to enter at.   I told her she couldn't come in and that I was going to lock all the doors and take a shower.  The lady asked me if there was a key for the locks.  I informed her that, indeed, there was a key, but that she could not have it.  She matter-of-factly stated that she needed to have the key to unlock the door in case anyone had to use the bathroom while I was in the shower.  I told her that if anyone needed to use the bathroom there were 2 others in the house or they could wait until I was done.  This lady however did NOT understand that I would NEVER give her the key and tried to start bargaining with me.  She tried to promise me all sorts of things in return, to which I refused all.  Finally she said, "If you give me the key, I will give you ??? & ??? on Farkle from Facebook." (Where the questions marks appear in the previous sentence, this is where in my head I heard the mumbled voice of the Nanny from Muppet Babies or the teacher from Charlie Brown.)  At this point I could take it all no longer!  I exploded like a ticking time bomb!  I shouted at her, "FARKLE, YOU THINK YOU CAN BARGAIN WITH ME FOR CRAP FROM A FACEBOOK GAME!  I DON'T PLAY STUPID FACEBOOK GAMES!"  She looked at me in a bewildered/ perplexed way.  This lady was really clueless.  You know how some people you meet just don't seem to get anything you say and no matter how hard you try to explain they just stand their in a daze.  That was this lady.  I was furious beyond belief because the lady asked in reply, "You mean you don't play Facebook games anymore?".  At this point my Relief Society President interjected.  She had been standing next to me this whole time, did I mention that?  Anyways, the Relief Society President looked at the lady and stated, "No she hasn't ever played Facebook games.  She not one of those people."

This is where my dream ended and I woke up.  Sean had come in to give me a kiss good-bye as he was leaving to go to work.  I told him all about it.  We had a good laugh and agreed that it was a crazy dream!

I had this dream a few days ago and for some reason I still can remember it and obviously account all the details.  So,  I decided to blog it and tell you all about my CRAZY dream. 

Does anyone else have crazy dreams that they can remember so vividly? 

I don't always remember my dreams, but when I do, they are always the crazy ones. 

The other day I dreamed that we were going to be moving and I was really sad to be leaving the branch that we are in now.  I started crying in my dream, and when I woke up, I was crying.

When I was a young adult I dreamed that I was at a summer camp and the scary sister of Rachel's from Pet Cemetery came and took a scalpel to my back, cutting out a rectangle around it.  I woke up and my back was arched inward and hurt like it had really happened.

Another time when I was a teenager I dreamed that my dad was out on the road. (He was a truck driver.) I dreamed that he stopped at a rest area and for some reason I was with him.  I went into the bathroom at the gas station and  while I was in their someone shot and killed my father.  I was so scared and sad.  That was anther time I woke up from a dream crying.

A funny one I had was when Sean and I were dating.  I had this dream that he had to go around the United States and dismantle nuclear bombs to save the world from total destruction.  All the while he was wearing a green zoot suit.

After Sean and I were married I dreamed I was at a Baptist Revival.  Everyone there was dressed in white clothing like you would wear to the temple.  Then crowds of people started lining up to go onstage to perform temple ceremonies.  That one was REALLY WEIRD!

Crazy, Crazy dreams!  Please tell me that other people have weird dreams, and I'm not the only one out there who does!