The Morgan's: White Trash of the Neighborhood/DisasTURDly Mess

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

White Trash of the Neighborhood/DisasTURDly Mess

Oh What a Beautiful Morning!
The sun was out, it was early...no chances of rain today! YES!

I think "Everything's goin' my way!".

But then I open my blinds to our backyard, and what do I see?
A NOT so beautiful site!!!

There strewn across the lawn were...
two,
not just one,
but TWO,
Dirty Diapers
OPENED
(face up I might add),
used baby wipes,
a big black trash bag,
and a pair of little boys pajama pants.

DISGUSTING!

No, these were NOT my boy's diapers!
These were really BIG kid's diapers.
(Ian is potty trained & Noah is only in size 4's).

WHAT THE HECK!?!?!
I was SO mad!
How did this seriously NASTY mess get all over our yard?

A list runs through my head of the possibilities...
Garbage Day, NO.
The Wind, maybe...it has been windy the last few days,
an Animal...maybe.
But where would the wind or an animal have got all of this?
Then I think...

If some kids did this...it is NOT a funny joke!

As I am staring, in disbelief, out the window at this atrocity,
I feel like I'm the White Trash of the Neighborhood!
No joke, it looked totally Ghetto!

I sickeningly shudder

at the thought of having to actually clean this up!
Where's my knight in shining armor to save me

from this dreadful task?
Oh yeah, Sean's at school already!
DRATS!!!

So, at the horror of one of the neighbors actually seeing this,
I grab a new trash bag,
quickly don the toilet cleaning rubber gloves,
and head out the back door to,
reluctantly and resentfully,
clean up the repulsive bodily desecration!

It was windy this morning.

The trash bag was thrashing about not staying open!
It took several tries to finally get all of it in the bag.
All the while the wind sent the stench of poo wafting my way!

It was nauseating!
I could feel myself start to dry heave.
Guess I should have grabbed a clothespin for my nose too!

I can't believe this even happened!
This was something that I never

in a Million years

thought I would EVER be doing!
I think it might be time for fence. What do you think?

PS. There are NO pictures on this post,

for I think obvious reasons!

2 comments:

The Horn Family said...: Yuck, is all I have to say. Definetely time for a fence.; October 07, 2009 4:07 PM
Unknown said...: Move to our neighborhood. Problem solved! ;); October 10, 2009 8:51 AM

Kiddo Quotes...

Both Noah and Ian now enjoy playing with the small tiny legos. Noah was trying to put some pieces together and was having a hard time. He brought the legos up to me and said, "Please, I help you?"

Ian told me that he thought he saw a monster or ghost. I told him that monsters and ghosts aren't real, they are just pretend. Then I said, "Ian, I think your imagination is running away with you!" Without missing a beat, he replied, "Yeah, that's because my brain doesn't have a fence yet!"

During dinner one night, outside of our house in Noah's site of view, there was a bird looking for worms, and a rabbit eating grass. Sean was also dishing up his dinner. Noah looked around and said, " Birdie hungee (hungry), bunny hungee, DADDY HUNGEE!"

Ian after he got off of Grandpa Haynes' Harley, "I rode a real HOG!"

Sean to Ian, "What do you think we should get Mommy for her birthday?". Ian turning around in circles said, "I don't know something girlie?". Sean, "What kind of 'something girlie'?". Ian stopped turning, looked directly at me, then looked me up & down and said, "Hmmm, How about something for her toes!".

It was snowing/sleeting REALLY heavy and the wind was blowing it all around. Ian looked out the window and said, "What is that weather outside? I've never seen that before!"

At the Pediatrician's office Dr. Hoffman walks in. Ian, "Hey, I've never been to your house before!"

When running around the living room in circles. Ian, "Mom, I can save the Earth! 'Cause I'm a SuperHero Kid!!!"

Watching Noah play. Ian, "I sure do have a crazy brother."

While smiling very big Ian said, "Hey, can you see my plaque?

Talking about Harry Potter. Ian, "Mouth boy is a bad kid. He goes to school with Harry Potter at Hogwarts!" Mom, "Who is a bad kid? Malfoy?" Ian, "No Mom, his name is MOUTH BOY!"

Holding a toy that had come apart. Noah, "Oh no, Brokie!"

After drawing a very colorful picture in church. Ian, "Mom, look at my BEAUTIFUL monster!"

One of the kids was stinky...Dad checking Noah's diaper, "Nope it's not Noah." Mom, "Ian are you farting? Do you have to go poop?" Ian, "Nope, maybe it's Dad!!!"

Telling a joke. Ian, "Why do chicken's sit on them eggs?". Mom, "Why?". Ian, "Because they don't have any chairs!".

One morning while cuddling with the boys in bed, Ian's stomach growls... Mom:"Ian did your stomach growl? Are you hungry?" Ian:"No, it was Daddy farting!"

When changing Noah's diaper: Noah: "Pee? Poop? YUCK!"

While using the potty: Ian: "Mommy, my toes are cold...and my BUM is cold!"

Sean was looking at/trying to figure out how Ian's new birthday gift worked. Ian said: "Daddy, toys aren't for grown-ups!"

Ian shouting/crying when sick: "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" ...we took him to the Dr.'s office the next morning...he had an ear infection. :(

Ian when sick with the flu: "Oooooooohhhhh! My body isn't working!!!" He then proceeded to ralph on the floor...poor kiddo!

Ian: "Mommy you always make cleaning up so fun!" ...I'm glad he thinks so...sometimes I feel like tyrant!

Ian to Mark S.(a family friend), "One day I will grow up and get married and be a daddy. Then my daddy will be a GRANDPA! " Ian then proceeded to laugh at this!

One of Ian's favorites if he can't figure out how something works, "Mommy, is it MAGIC!"

We were starting to drive home from church the other day when Ian said, "Mommy how do we get to our house? Is there a secret passageway?!"

Ian another time when Noah is giving him kisses, "Ahhh yuck! Baby drool!"

Ian, "I have hair on my arms, that means one day I will grow up and get married, and then I can be a daddy!"

Ian asked for a "treat" the other day. So I went to the pantry and got some cookies for all of us. I told him to give one to everyone in the family. When he went to give Sean his cookie he said, "Here Daddy, it's most delicious!" While trying to put the cookie into Sean's mouth!

Ian while moving his head back and forth to the music that was playing, "Mommy, it makes my BRAIN tip!"

Ian drew a picture on the Etch-A-Sketch and when showing it to me said, "It's buildings Mommy! It's Daddy's school with a volcano in it!" Yikes! Daddy watch out for that volcano! I hope it doesn't blow!

Ian got a letter in the mail from Grandma Morgan. I asked him what she sent. He told me, "Something that I love with all my heart!"

Mommy while driving: "Ian do see the movie store? Where is it?" Ian, "Yeah, there it is!!! Before my very eyes!"

Ian while I am signing my name when using a credit card at the store. "Mommy, I want to write your name! M-O-M, Mommy!" ...Very cute kiddo, but I don't think they'll accept MOM as my signature!

On Father's Day I was telling Ian it was time to go home from church to make Daddy a special dinner. He said, "Yeah, carrots and cheerios!" MMM....very yummy ;)

It's Ian's job to clear and clean up his spot at the table after he is done eating. He was having trouble getting the leftovers from dinner off his plate so I went to show him how to scrape his plate with his fork. Then he said, "Good job, Mommy! You are such a big helper!"

Ian saw me pull a pizza out of the freezer for dinner and said, "YAY!!! PIZZA TIME!" Mmm Mmm Mmmm...my thoughts exactly!

When asking Ian what he wanted for lunch... Me: "Ian what do you want for lunch...chicken nuggets, fish sticks...?" Ian: "ANTELOPE!" ...Alrighty then, let me just pull that out the freezer for ya, kiddo!

Ian put his hands on the sides of my face and was giving me kisses then said, "Mommy, I want to squish your chubby cheeks!" ...Thanks Ian!

Ian while talking about the animals we have seen at the zoo, "Mommy, sea lions don't have any bums, they have tails!"

Sean was talking about gold the other day when Ian said "Daddy you need to turn your gold into cash!" WOW! Too many gold commercials on TV!

Ian while building with legos..."Mommy look there's a whale with big teeth in the living room!"

Ian while Noah is giving him kisses, "Eeeww he swobbered me!"

Mommy: "Ian I love you"
Ian: "I love you mommy"
Mommy: "I love you more"
Ian: "I love you more"
Mommy: "I love you as big as the universe"
Ian: "No your as big as the umiverse"

Ian after getting put on time out: "Time out is ridiculous, this is ridiculous, daddy your ridiculous!"

Ian: "Mommy I want to watch Pocahontas". Mommy: "Okay??"...I dig through the movies, find it and ask "is this the movie you want to watch?" Ian: "No, that movie is for girls!"

Ian while I'm hugging and holding him in the kitchen: "Mommy do the Cinderelli dip!" ... The "Cinderelli dip" is me slow dancing with Ian and occasionally dipping him while singing "A dream is a wish your heart makes..."

Ian in the morning if I'm still sleeping after he gets out of bed: "Mommy open your eyes, it's waking up time."

Ian in the morning: "Mommy where's Daddy?" Mommy: "Daddy had to go to school. Do you know what Daddy does at school?" Ian: "Oh, I know, he fixes people's teeth and cavities."
Mommy at bedtime one night: "Ian where'd your dinosaurs go?" (He was just holding 3 a few seconds previously) Ian: "Under the pillow, their taking a nap."

Mommy another night at bedtime: "Alrighty, into bed Fred." Ian: "I not Fred! I I-A-N! Ian Scott Morgan!"

Mommy one day at lunch: "Ian are you ready for lunch?"
Ian: "Yeah, I want peanut butter and jelly in the living room."
Mommy: "You want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch and want to eat in the living room?" Ian: "Yeah, that makes me so happy!"

Daddy talking to Ian on the phone one day after being in clinic at school: "Should I clean up and come home?" Ian looking up at Mommy: "Mommy you have to clean up our home!"